My Summer To Do List

**In NO particular order**
done
in progress

1. Keep up with this blog better! - Practically a FAIL :(

2. Get caught up on my Project 365 blog (caught up to April 3oth!) - OY haven't done any more with this and I certainly haven't been taking photos everyday :( FAILx2

3. Play a game &/or read WITH my kids everday

4. RE-organize my kitchen

5. Purge our entire house and get things ready for LFR in the fall. BAHAHAHA this project will be pushed back til after school starts and their aren't 3 other beings in my house complaining about what I am or am not getting rid of!

6. Paint our bedroom, the hall bathroom, and the laundry room - How bout paint my scrap room? Almost done!

7. Switch the playroom & my craftroom

8. This one is personal

9. Lose 30 pounds

10. Complete at least 30 layouts (20/30)

11. Have friends over for a "just because" party

12. Read 8 books (8/8)

13. Go an entire week (or more!) without eating out for ANY meal OR snack

14. Record some videos of my kids doing summer activities

15. Sign my kids up for some extra curricular activities
Colby's playing Tball & Lacie is doing gymnastics!

16. Start going to church again

17. Celebrate July 4th at the beach

18. Go to Disneyland 2-3 times :) (2/3)

19. Learn how to embroider

20. Learn how to use photoshop elements - changed my mind about this one

21. Make my own laundry soap

22. Plan Lacie's birthday dinner

23. Plan Colby's birthday party

24. Get an overnight away with my hubby

25. Hang up pictures and other decor in my barren house of 2 years OY

26. Get caught up on my kids school albums
Lacie's kindergarten & Pre-K pages are DONE. Colby's Pre-K pages are done too!

Lil Ole Me

I love my lil blogger updates on the right over there. I have all (well most, it needs to be updated!) my fave bloggers and I can see right away when they post something new. Over the past few days there have been several posts with self portraits. A tag of sorts, making the rounds in the bloggy world. Yesterday, my friend Colleen over at See Sherm Blog tagged lil ole me to take a picture of myself and pass the tag along. The rules are to take a picture of yourself RIGHT when you read the blog. No primping, editing, etc.Well I'm not really one to follow the rules LOL so I conveniently waited till today, after I got ready, to take my picture. SO BAD I know! In my defense this is only halfway through my getting ready process so there. Also, I was in my kitchen making breakfast for the kids. See the cinnamon back there? MMMM we had cinnamon toast this morning.

Ok here are the rules! Try not to be too rebellious like myself and actually follow them if you get tagged!
1) Take a picture of yourself right now.
2) No primping or preparing.
3) Just snap a picture.
4) Load the picture onto your blog.
5) Tag some people to play along.

And now, the moment you've all been waiting for...I hereby tag:
1) my bestie who has not blogged in many moons - Gretchie (My Daily Balancing Act)
2) my darling Sarah at the Lefotu Lounge cause she needs more pictures on her blog!
3) Miss Ashley at Scrap Like Mad cause she's preggers and gorgeous!
4) My crafty friend Julie is gorgeous too and lots of fun!
5)Anyone else that wants to join in on the fun! GO FOR IT!

9 years

9 years ago was my wedding day. We dated for 6 months before that.

There are actually quite a few things I regret about that day and the days leading up to it. We were pretty crappy towards our parents, David's dad wasn't even at the wedding, something I will ALWAYS regret. I was in such a hurry to get out of my parent's house and on with my "dream" life that I ignored a lot of things and people that I shouldn't. I also allowed a lot of things to happen that I wished I wouldn't have. I BORROWED my dress :(. I let a lot of the bigger decisions just float by me (not to say that I am not totally and completely appreciative of everything that my mom and the rest of the family did for us, cause I am! I just wish that I had the forsight to be more PRESENT in my own wedding plans). Oh and we skedaddled out of our 'cake & punch' reception after MAYBE an hour. Ugh in some instances I have to agree that 19 is WAY young to be getting married!

This is me and my Daddy before the wedding.

Yes I wore flipflops under my dress! :)

The wedding party

Communion

David and the girls

But I do NOT regret getting married on this day 9 years ago. I do NOT regret WHO I married.

I know now that I didn't really know him then, I didn't even really know myself.

But I got lucky.

The man that I married is more than I could have ever dreamed of. WAY more than I deserve.

He is the love of my life. The father of my children. My very best friend.

I can not imagine spending the last 9 years of my life without him by my side. I hope and pray that I never, ever have to know what that kind of life would be like.

I love you baby, more than I can express.

Thank you for everyday that you've been with me.

I am so proud of all that you have become and am so grateful for all that you do for our family.

I look forward to the next 9 years with you and more!

All my love,

Your Wife

Going Backwards, and forwards

Not sure what my deal is these days but I just haven't been in the mood to write about what's been going on in my neck of the woods. Nothing bad has happened, I actually don't have PMS (shocker!), I'm not drowning in a book (but I am getting ready to start this one, am I the last person on earth?). Anyway, nothing has been keepin me from writing. I've been focusing on housework and house projects and a wee bit o' craftiness. Oh and a little thing some people like to call Facebook, but I call the black hole that I get sucked into daily and only come out when my kids need to be picked up or fed!

I finally got the gumption tonight to whip up my first ever video using the pictures I took on our recent anniversary trip. Last weekend, my parents were darling enough to keep our kids so that we could get away together. Our anniversary actually isn't until March 18th but with David's work + school schedule this was our only chance to celebrate. He has class the Saturdays before and after our anniversary, he is working the nights before & after our anniversary, and has class on our actual anniversary :( So we HAD TO GET AWAY when we could hahaha!

Now some of you may think that we are crazy for 1) celebrating our big day at Disneyland and 2) for going without the kiddos. Well ya we're crazy like that :)

We had a blast going on pretty much ALL the grown up rides, something we never get to do! I was trying to be a brave little wifey and accompany my man on all these scary rides but after going on The Tower of Terror I was dunzo! That is THE scariest thing I have EVER done in my ENTIRE life! No, I do not care how dramatic that sounds. I almost crapped my pants! I will never understand why being terrified, dropped a bajillion stories, or jerked around is FUN and entertaining for anyone!!! If you can, pause it when you get to the pic from Tower of Terror. I am gripping my love for dear life and he is laughing hysterically. The other people in the pic are posing, raising their hands, & even whistling! I was CRYING and praying for the welfare of my children after my untimely demise! No joke! Not fun, not fun at all and don't let anyone tell you otherwise!

Something else I have to mention, I forgot my camera charger :( I was able to eek out enough juice for these few pictures but there were so many photo ops that I just couldn't get.

All was made right with the world when my hunny bought us Annual Passes! He said, "Now we can come back when your camera is charged" hahaha he's such a sweetie pie! Seriously how did I get so d*amn lucky!? I have coveted Annual Passes for quite some time now! Did you know that SoCal residents can now use a payment plan for them? For a one income family like us that is a dream come true! Reason #1029383821 why I heart Disney.

Ok enough rambling, here's my wittle slideshow... mute my soundtrack down at the bottom so you can hear my favoritest love song ever while you look at the pics!

Happy Birthday to Me!!!!

Yes it's true. I am a Friday the 13th baby :) My mom always told me that it made it my LUCKY day. It's certainly has proven true so far! I've been pretty blessed to have just about all of my birthdays be great ones. This one's looking no different! Although I have to say that this whole turning 28 business is pretty interesting. It just seems so GROWN UP (I won't say "old"). I just can't believe that that is actually my age! I've never really had a problem getting older. Every year I love love my birthday. But after I turned 25 I just wanted to stay that age FOREVER. I think once I get to 30 and I can just embrace the 30s then maybe it won't be so bad? Until 37? LOL It's like on a rollercoaster when you are making that slooooooow climb up a really big hill. You KNOW the drop is going to be a big deal but also that it will be over before you know it. I'm making that sloooooow climb right now and 30 is looking all sorts of scary and exciting. But I know it'll all be over before I know it so I just need to LIVE and BREATHE these moments!
Anywho, in honor of my birthdayness I decided to post the 25 Random things that I posted about myself on Facebook. Seriously EVERYBODY is doing this and I just love it because I love learning new lil things about people or seeing what I and others have in common.
So here we go, 25 things you might not have known about me :)
*I did change a few of them just cause I did this a week or so ago and have thought of better ones since*

1. I don't care to be outside. I have to be in the mood to tolerate it and those moods don't really last very long. This is very sad for my husband and daughter who love to be outside but my son is just like me :)
2. I am not a movie person. They usually make me fall asleep. It has to be REALLY good to hold my attention for the duration. It takes alot for me to agree to even sit down to watch in the first place.
3. I am living my dream come true by being a stay at home mom to my kiddos. I don't know what I did to be so lucky.
4. I am more in love with my husband today than yesterday and tomorrow's looking even better.
5. I got married a month after I turned 19 and I know alot of people that didn't think we'd make it. Can't really blame them, not only were we crazy young, we had only been together for 6 months. We will celebrate our 9th wedding anniversary in March. I can't say it has always been easy but I can't think of anyone else I'd rather share life's journey with.
6. It is really hard for me to keep my house clean. It kills me that I didn't inherit the crazy clean gene from my momma. I've gotten alot better over the years but it is still a daily struggle for me.
7. I am so NOT athletic but really do wish I was. I always dream that I just get out there and be REALLY well at softball, or be able to run really fast, or even dance well. Nope not happening :(
8. I want to graduate college but have no clue what my major would be. Not to mention the fact that I just hate college courses. I used to LOVE school and homework. Until college. I don't feel smart enough!
9. I could sit and read all day long. I've always been that way. I used to walk home from school reading. I read every night for at least 20 minutes before I fall asleep.
10. I don't really have a desire to travel other countries. I'm much more interested in my own. Which is not to say that I'd turn down a trip :) But I've always been fascinated by US history.
11. I hate hurting people's feelings. I'll do everything in my power to avoid upsetting or disappointing someone. Even at my own expense.
12. It is VERY hard for me to knowingly break the rules.
13. I feel like my personality is completely different from when I was a teenager. I think I was alot meaner and outgoing then I am now. I guess that's what happens when you get older. :)
14. It is hard for me to accept that some people don't like me. It makes me really sad and I feel completely responsible.
15. I think pregnant woman are the most beautiful creatures. It's such a miraculous thing, pregnancy and birth. I think it gets taken for granted so much these days.
16. I really don't care to be in the presence of animals. Pictures or videos are just fine by me. I really want a dog though. Maybe I just need to form an attachment to one and then my views will change?
17. I was the only one that thought Lacie was going to be a girl - the doctor said he was 85% sure she was a boy after multiple ultrasounds.
18. I am finally OK with not having any more kids. I can't imagine starting over! My kids are so fun and easy right now!
19. I have a lot of regrets. I am slowly working to let them go.
20. I have a 6 year old and a 5 year old. Catholic twins? Irish twins? Ya something like that. They are only 13 months apart. One of the most terrifyingly wonderful things I've ever gone through. I honestly did not know how we were going to survive. But we did and it's been amazing. I can't imagine our family created in any other way. I guess the Big Guy does know what he's doing?
21. I am spoiled enough to have my own scrap/sew room and love spending time in it.
22. I am the oldest of 7 - a 26yo brother, a 23 yo brother, a 20 yo sister, a 15 yo brother, a 12 yo sister, & a 5yo sister. I really wish I had better relationships with all of them.
23. I am very afraid of having poor relationships with my children when they are grown. I hope that by being continually conscious of it as they grow up we'll avoid it but oh man the possibility alone scares me. Especially when you consider the outside influences of friends and significant others!
24. I love to sing. I sound good to myself but not with a microphone.
25. I absolutely can NOT stand parents that are selfish. It's like an oxymoron to me. Parents who dump their kids off with babysitters every chance they get. Parents who make sure they're dressed warmly but can't be bothered to put a blanket over their baby - and then they wonder why the babe keeps getting sick? Parents who do nothing but complain complain complain about their children and their lives. Ugh it just breaks my heart. They look good on the surface, send em to all the right schools, cute clothes, cool toys, but that's about it. I'm not a perfect parent by any means but my kids are my world not just accessories. haha oops it's obvious I'm passionate about this topic :)

It was WICKED fun!

So I wanna say it was back in October that my bestie called me with a plan to buy tickets to the very last showing of WICKED in Los Angeles. She and her sister were buying a ticket for their mom as a Christmas gift and figured I would want to go too. HECK YAH I would!

So the months go by and in December, my husband stops shopping around for Laker tickets. He always likes to go to a game around his birthday. So one night he tells me that he bought his ticket. I ask him the date and he tells me January 11th. I think to myself hmmm, sounds familiar. Well then I realize that that is our date for Wicked! Oy!

So we start to figure out the timing of it all and realize that this is actually a really cool thing. I HATE to drive. So David will be able to drop me off with my friends, go to his game, and then come back and get me when it's all done. The timing could not have been more perfect! So we got a mini date, a jaunt out of town, and the time to each go to an event we wanted to!

So last Sunday we left the kids with my sister and hit the road. We even had about an hour or so together in Hollywood before my bestie showed up. That was really nice. We hadn't been there together in SO long, like 5 years!

After Gretchen got there, David left for Staples Center, and the girls and I went to have dinner. We ate at a lil pub type place called the Pig & Whistle. Gretchen and I weren't all that impressed ;)

When we finished eating we still had quite some time to kill before the show so we went walking towards the Chinese Graumen's theater. It was really cool to see all the Walk of Fame stars along the way and then the handprints and such when we got there.

See my cute new shoes!? Yah they were KILLING ME by the end of the night :( LOL

I love this picture of the 4 of us :)

A very kind gentlemen got on his knee to take this picture for us (using Gretchen's camera).

This is my bestie and me in one of the bathrooms at the Pantages, before the show started. We were SOOOOOOO excited to see the show again but SOOOOOOO sad that they were leaving LA :( The show was AMAZING of course. We were lucky enough to see great performers, even greater than the last time. Carol Kane was Madame Morrible. And then Eden Espinoza and Megan Hilty were Elphaba & Glinda. I read before hand that these two originated the roles when it first came to LA. What a treat! I also really liked that guy that played Fiyero, Derick Williams. They were all spectacular! You could feel the heightened emotions because it was their last night. I am so glad that I was able to be there!

These next two pictures are illegal photos from Gretchen's camera. There was no photography allowed and although we both tried to be rebellious this was the best we could do, it was during the curtain call and there were narks everywhere! ;)

Me outside, afterwards, so happy but so sad

And this is me and my crazy hubby at a pitstop on our way home. Yes he is crazy, yes he paints his face for almost every sporting event he goes to. But this time his craziness paid off! He was chosen, out of gobs and gobs of people, to be FAN OF THE GAME!!!! He shake his groove thang for the jumbo-tron and won a $50 gift card to Chili's!!! Woohoo baby!!!!

A whole new me!

On Wednesday, the 7th, I was finally able to get my braces taken off! I had these suckers on for 3 and a half years! My kids did not even remember what Mommy looked like without them people! How crazy is that? So yah I got them off and drove my happy self straight to KFC for some corn on the freakin' cob! LOL I swear I heard angels singing! I pretty much had this goofy grin on my face all day long. Here are my Before & After pics from the day of:

Then next day I had to go pick up my retainer. Which I hate. I think I'm just so stinkin' tired of having something in my mouth :( Wah :) I already haven't been wearing it as much as I should. Funny story: Lacie was with me when I picked it up so she heard the "rules". So the other night I had just finished my dinner but was still drinking a sodie, well she comes up to me and she goes "Um Mommy, if you're done eating you are supposed to have those on your teeth!" She said this in as much of a "motherly" tone as a 6 year old could muster. Cracked me up! I'm not able to get away with much around here!

Put the shoes down, and walk away slowly

**Updated with a really crappy pic from my cell phone. The one that I sent my husband :) **


Or quickly in my case, so that I don't change my mind and do something I shouldn't!

Ok a little background.

I went to Target today to get another tub for our Christmas decorations. I had plenty of time so I'm just moseying around the departments. I end up in the shoe department - who wouldn't! There's been this one pair of shoes that I've been coveting for the past month or so and I always check if they're are on clearance. The last few times I've seen them they have been but out of the 3 stores in town I hadn't been able to find my size. I'm not really a big shoe person. But every once in awhile I find a pair (or 2) that I love so much it's hard for me to think of much else. These fell into that category. They weren't flats but they didn't have TOO much of a heel either. They had a little ruffle on the toe (cuter than it sounds) and they were MUSTARD YELLOW! A color that I've become rather obsessed with lately as you can tell by my background.
So anyway, I'm wandering up and down the aisles and in the non-clearance section I come up some ballet flats. And they're zebra print. I love me some zebra print. Tastefully done of course. And these were like a metallicky glittery type (again WAY cuter than it sounds) so that they take on the color of what you're wearing. My brown shirt created a brown tinge but my purple sweater created a more purpley tone. Get my drift? And then the price. Regular price remember? Only $12.99!!!!! I just love Target.
They immediately go into the cart. And instead of exiting the shoe department (like a good girl) I continue to browse the clearance aisles.
Right away I see the mustard yellow adorableness but they were all size 7 1/2. So not my size! I start to give up but then see one more glimpse of mustard yellow at the end of the aisle. I kid you not these babies were sent from heaven because they were a size 9! Just what I needed! And they were on clearance for $13.98, down from 19.99.
Now the dilemma. Two pairs of shoes. Maybe to some of you there would be no dilemma. $30 for TWO incredibly adorable pairs of shoes? Both very comfortable and versatile so you know you're going to get your money's worth. Such a screamin' deal.
Well, I'm just not that person. Maybe I was at some point, maybe I will be again some day. But not today.
You see, as you may recall, we are a one income family. Which makes are budget a little bit tighter than others. Don't get me wrong. We are in the best financial position of our lives and we do live quite comfortably. My husband is really not a strict bread winner. He rarely denies me my hearts desire (a $1000 camera, or say a BABY is just a bit too much :) ).
When I sent him a text "asking permission" to buy the shoes, his reply was "I'll leave it up to you" GAH!!! See what I mean?
But like I said we are but one income. An income that comes in ONCE a month. That's it. We usually have David's paychecks earmarked before we even get them, because we like to plan ahead. We know we will get to enjoy the money. We know we have all that we need. But we do still have to be careful.
We're going out of town for the day this weekend. Gas, event tickets, lunch, dinner, babysitter, merchandise. That spending is all earmarked so that we can have a good time. Not that I think this $30 splurge would've broke the bank. I just don't think it would have been the most wise or necessary decision. Capish?
So when it comes to an unexpected glorious and very reasonably priced gift from the Target gods. Sometimes you just have to put it back.









Well not BOTH of them! These little babies did make it home with me today. I just can't say no to fate :)

These other beauties will have to sit and wait. Till next time (my birthday is next month you know). And who knows, maybe they'll be even cheaper!

*sorry blogger isn't letting me upload the pictures. so click on the links to see the cuteness!*

Project 365

I didn't realize it till just a minute ago but this is actually my 401st post! Absolutely crazy talk people!

Ok so Project 365 is a little something I had heard bits and pieces about over the past year or so. Crazy people who take a picture of themselves, their world, their loved ones, EVERY SINGLE DAY for an ENTIRE year? Who would do such a thing? Well people, I am. Every day in 2009 I plan to take a picture of something, or someone, in my little world.

I got excited about this project when I read about a scrapbooking kit for sale on Becky Higgins' blog. I was of course unsure about doling out the money for something so soon after Christmas but that problem was solved for me when all the kits sold out in mere minutes. Oy! It really has caused alot of headache and drama for lots of people so I'm actually kind of glad that I wasn't totally sold on the idea in the first place. That's not to say that I would not jump up and down with glee if by some miraculous act of God & finances I was able to get my hands one one :) You may recall me mentioning a similiar issue back in June with her School Kits. She is one popular lady!

So for now, I have gone ahead and created a second blog - Say Cheese! - to document the pictures that I will be taking every day. I'm considering creating a photobook at the end of the year, or even printing them and creating a scrapbook. We shall see. I'm happy in knowing that they will be archived in at least this way for now. So please feel free to follow along with me on this journey. Better yet JOIN me! How cool is it going to be at the end of the year to see how much my children, my family, and hopefully my photography skills will grow as this year goes on!

Right now...

I got this survey from the fabulous Lisa Bearnson.

Out of my window: The only one I can see out of: the big huge trampoline that Santa brought the kids :) Hasn't been used in a few days due to sickies. :(
I am wearing: black knit capris and a gigantic East High sweatshirt. I really need to get a BHS one but this is just so dang comfy!
I am hearing: My husband curse at the Mario Kart race LOL
I am thinking: That my daughter is probably still awake in her bed.
I am thankful for: everything in my life, good & bad because it means I am ALIVE!
I am creating: a birthday present for someone special
I am going: to be getting my braces off on Wednesday! Eeek!!!
I am hoping: that the rest of this week goes by quickly
I am reading: Just finished a book last night, Final Justice by Fern Michaels. Also in the middle of Rockabye by Rebecca Woolf.
Around the house: there is MESS everywhere :( Sickies does not bode well for household accomplishments!
One of my favorite things: cinnamon gummy bears
A few plans for the rest of the week: Costco tomorrow, Braces off on Wednesday, hopefully McClane snuggling on Thursday, HSM3 on Friday, cleaning on Saturday, & WICKED on Sunday! WOOTWOOT!
I am thankful for: my family, my home, our vehicles, money for groceries, health, and my scrapbook room :)

Sea World on my own

I was pretty nervous about taking the kids to Sea World by myself but we had a great time. There were a few rides we couldn't do because it would've required another adult, and it was exhausting pushing my big ole babies around in the stroller (don't ask), and the driving oh the driving was horrid, but over all it was fine. Not something I'm in a hurry to do again mind you.

We made sure to get a few things done that we didn't get to do last time. Like the manatees and the Sesame Street Bay of Play, and the Pet's Rule show. ALL 3 AMAZING! We also saw the Shamu show of course and the penguins. But the absolute highlight was being able to actually TOUCH the dolphins! I don't know how we missed this when we were there in May, but all you had to do was pay $6 for a tray of fish and you were able to pet them!! OMG seriously SO amazing! Another thing to cross of my bucket list! I could've spent all my money and time there hahaha and I'm SO not an animal person. Lacie touched one too but not Colby. He said he'll do it next time. :) We came home with a few souveneirs too - a snuggly dolphin for Lace, a snuggly penguin for B, a dolphin keychain for me (!!!), and a DVD of the Shamu show and all the behind the scenes stuff that goes along with training killer whales - SO COOL!

PENGUINS!!!!

Who says it doesn't snow in San Diego! :)

SO FLIPPIN' (haha get it?) COOL!!!!!!

Oy...

Today was supposed to be the day.
The day that I caught up on my blogging and pictures uploading and laundry and housework.
Today was supposed to be the day that my son got his first award.
I know he was excited even though he claimed he would get "stage fright".
Instead today was the day that a fog delay and pms turned me into a crazy lady.
Today was the day that the awards were postponed :( Granted I found this out as I rolled up to the school a mere 30 minutes after the office ladies told me that they were still on so I scrambled to get us all ready. Oy.
Today was the day that I freaked out on my husband because he made an appointment for minor oral surgery tomorrow, when I will be out of town with the kids.
Luckily it was changed to this afternoon so my freak out was completely unnecessary. As they usually are.
Today was the day that I finished Christmas shopping for the kids.
Today was the day that NOTHING around the house got done.
Today is the day that I will not have time to update this blog - if you think today was exciting, just know that it's the end of a very exciting WEEK.
Today is the day that I will not have time to upload my pictures. And trust me they need to be uploaded because I will probably be taking a million this weekend.
Today is the day that I will pack our bags.
Because tomorrow is the day that the kids and I will kiss Daddy goodbye and drive down to Oceanside for Miss Presley's 3rd birthday. A dino party no less! :) And then Sunday I'm taking them to Sea World (ALONE Oy!) to use the rest of our pass.
Have a good weekend!!! Feel free to think good thoughts for my hubby this afternoon and for me this weekend in my travels!

changeling

I think I am one of those people that actually LIKES change.
I moved around ALOT growing up. ALOT.
When we bought the house last year we figured out that David & I had moved at least one time a year for every year that we've been married - that's 8 times people.
I've always like rearranging furniture. ALOT. It's one of those ways that I can "move" without moving know what I mean? My poor husband has given up fighting me on these things :)
I redecorate ALOT. My house, my rooms, my myspace (used to anyway), and my blog.
Which brings me to the point of this blog post. Pursuing Happyness is the 2nd bloggy name I've had on here. Welcome to My Crazy Life was the first. They are both lame-so not original-bloggy names. And now I'm wanting to change it again. seriously.
I want something that is ME.
Something that is ORIGINAL.
Something that is so completely rad I won't be tempted to change it :)
Hmmmm......

I....

I saw this done on another blog and thought I'd go ahead and procrastinate a bit more by doing it here tonight :) Enjoy and feel free to be a copycat just like me! I love learning more about people through these lil survey thingies!

I am: not hungry - and I didn't eat dinner, weird
I think: that I should really start working on my term paper
I know: that I have the best, beautifulest, wonderfulest kids in the world
I have: a really great and amazing husband too
I wish: that my kids would stop growing up so fast
I hate: reading sad life stories and realizing how ungrateful I at times
I miss: the closeness I used to have with my childhood friends
I fear: that my kids will eventually pick up on the family drama that is always around us
I hear: Star Wars (ALWAYS)
I smell: nothing
I crave: a more productive personality
I search: for the best deals
I wonder: what my sister is doing right now
I regret: letting David get a vasectomy
I love: my life
I ache: for another child to love
I am not: good at defending myself
I believe: in Santa Claus
I dance: to make my kids laugh
I sing: loudly
I cry: when I am passionate about something
I fight: with myself
I win: when I am my husband's team mate in whatever game we're playing
I lose: whenever I play Lacie Mario Kart for the Wii
I never: want to forget my kids the way they are right now and yesterday
I always: dreamed of being a stay at home mama
I confuse: myself when trying to do math or read a map
I listen: but not enough
I can usually be found:
I am scared: of someone in my family getting really sick or dying and me not being able to cope
I need: to be wanted
I am happy about: being cared for
I imagine: a life with no worries

Respect the Turkey

I'd been thinking about doing this post tonight and then I saw this over on Baby Rabies. It is basically EXACTLY what I was thinking!

What happened to Thanksgiving!?!?!

Don't get me wrong, I LOOOOOOVE me some Christmas. The music, the glitter, the colors, and those fabu red cups from Starbucks.

But I also REALLY love pumpkins, Orange, November, Fall, & Thanksgiving! I mean seriously, now that I have kids, time goes by SOOOOO fast. This is a very special time of year and I want to savor EVERY moment, EVERY holiday.

So while I have been busy making and buying Christmas gifts since September, I refuse to BUY anything Christmasy or decorate my home Christmasy until AFTER Thanksgiving!

Now who's with me?
PS there is ONE good thing about stores basically skipping over Thanksgiving - the FALL CLEARANCES! There is SO much fall/Thanksgiving stuff out there at 70-80% off! Love it! :)

Grey's Anatomy

I missed the season premiere this year and never watched it online either. I set up my DVR to set up all of the episodes since then but I hadn't watched them yet. I wasn't really sure I wanted to. Last season ended kinda wonky and then missing the premiere, well I just wasn't sure.

Well, I finally got caught up today and I remembered why I loved this show so much. It is just GOOD. It's like ER (which I loved for a long time) with less blood & gore and a TON more emotions and lovey dovey stuff :) I love it!

Procrastination at its worst

I'm in trouble. Not so much BIG trouble, but I really need to get a handle on my life and all of the goings on in it.
Did you know I was taking a college course? Notice I said A as in ONE as in UNO, singular!!!! And yet it is STILL kicking my butt. In my defense it has been quite some time since I've taken a class, it's online, and well I'm a procrastinator. UGH So now it is November and in college world that means midterms and in online class world that means - lets throw a crapload of assignments at these people that involve ALOT of time, writing, organization all in the midst of holiday season!!!! YAY!!!! :( And the thing is, the past 2 weeks have been light on the homework load which I'm guessing now was the opportunity for us to start working on those big projects that are due within the next few weeks. Wanna ask me if I took that opportunity? Please don't!
So with all that said, this blog is going to have to take a serious backburner if I'm going to come out of this alive. I have so many fun things to share with you all that date all the way back to August (my poor lil boy didn't even get a birthday dedication post like his sissy did), trips to the beach, the anniversary of David & I becoming a couple, carving pumpkins, and that just brings us up to date. When am I going to have time to blog about Halloween? Carrie Underwood? Thanksgiving (which is also my mom's birthday)? Yah we'll see ya around 2009 folks! Cause between this class, Christmas gift shopping and creating, volunteering, mothering, wife-ing, and cleaning. Oh man I'm exhausted just typing all of that! :(
I will probably still take the time to read your latest posts. I need SOME kind of outlet! I am soooo stressed out which for me equals weepy, grumpy, snappy, and just overall not a very fun person to be around!
So dear friends, I bid you adieu, for now, hopefully it won't be too terribly long!

Getting Deep On Ya...

Many of you know about my hunger for a third child for our family. I've definitely come a long way with these feelings but they are still there. I can't help but pray anxiously every month that the dreaded dot won't show, and every month I'm disappointed. And rightfully so, I mean it would be a HUGE miracle if I were to pop up pregnant. Not that those haven't been known to happen but I am just trying to be real with myself here. So in all these prayers for another baby - some how some way - I've also been praying that if it's not meant to be that I would find peace in it. I KNOW that I am blessed, I KNOW that I have more wonderful things in my life than some, and it's definitely enough. So I'm getting there. :)
Just about everytime that I start wishing to be a "Mother of 3" again a thought flitters across my mind....

"You ARE a mother of 3"

What? Who said that? I am a mother of 2 (darlings might I add) that WANTS to be a Mother of 3.

"No, YOU ARE A MOTHER OF 3"

I can literally feel my uterus tightening as I think these thought and type these words.

In February of 2001 I became pregnant for the first time in my life. We had been actively trying and another couple that we were close to had just announced their pregnancy a month before. We were ecstatic! I was sick at work and my mom said "YAY You're sick!" :)
In March we celebrated our first anniversary at Disneyland for 3 days and I happily obstained from all the fun rides. We came home and went to our first little appointment which included lots of bloodwork.
Then I got a call from my ob/gyn. "Your numbers look a little funny. Come in for another blood test please."
I had several blood tests over several days and finally a pelvic ultrasound. My first ultrasound ever. (Pelvically - not as fun as on the belly!)
David held my hand and my doctor took his time examining. Searchind is more like it. Searching for what wasn't there.
A heartbeat.
A viable pregnancy.

I was devastated. I was convinced it was my fault and that I would never have the children I so desperately wanted. I practically blacked out in the parking lot. My poor husband, I was so blind to HIS pain. Until I heard him crying too.

Within a few days I started spotting. It was like a slap in the face. I had SO wanted them to be WRONG. But there was no denying it and I went in for a D&C.
They said it was a blighted ovum. The baby stops developing but the body & placenta continue on as if there is still a pregnancy.
I was between 8 and 9 weeks. Many people didn't even know we were pregnant yet.
I was told that it wasn't even really a baby that was lost.
I don't believe that for one second.
It was my baby. Our baby. My first.
And that would make me a MOTHER OF 3.

Tomorrow is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day

BANGS!!!

I got antsy the other day and cut bangs :/

Hello Mr Fall!!!

Anywho, I know it's not official yet, and this is Bakersfield for crying out loud. But it is really starting to look and feel like fall around here and not just at Starbucks or the Hershey's kisses factory!!!! The swimming suits are packed away till next year, the beach towels have transformed back into bath towels (am I the only one that does that?), I actually wore a long sleeve shirt yesterday (granted, it was thing and I rolled up the sleeves but still!!!!), and I am dying to get out my fall decor!! My mommy brought me this lil guy a few weeks ago and he is in much need of accesories! :) That will hopefully happen next weekend depending on my homework load.