I So Needed This

Thanks to the fabu Ali Edwards for sending me in the right direction today. In the direction of a blog titled - Ordinary Courage.
You simply must read this post - Like Mother, Like Superhero

Adventures in Motherhood

First comes PREGNANCY. When you get pregnant you're either thinking "Holy crap what have we done?!" Or "FINALLY! It's actually happening." People for sure treat you differently when you are pregnant. Compliments, kindness, and advice abound! You (and your husband too) will become so intune with all the nuances of your body, more than you probably ever really wanted to! Some women hate being pregnant. Some love it. Some get sick, some don't. Some get huge, some are "all baby". Whatever the case, each pregnancy is an amazing miracle to me that a human being can actually grown inside of another. AMAZING!

BABYDOM is the next exciting stage in this exclusive MommyClub. I think I read somewhere that a baby grows physically and mentally MORE during their first year of life than in any other. I can see how it's true. Being born around 7 pounds and then more than doubling that by age one. Going from sleeping, pooping, & crying to rolling, scooting, crawling, pulling up, walking and maybe even talking in just 12 months. Again AMAZING!

Moving onto TODDLERVILLE. Once your kid is mobile, and vocal, they are like a totally different human being. They see things differently than they did before and they respond to you differently too. They aren't always so willing to come when you call to them, or let you kiss on them as much as you want. They are becoming their own lil person and they have places to go and people to see! Making new "friends" even if they don't want to. Learning how to share and use words to express their feelings. It is really quite hilarious to watch their exploration and you can almost see the wheels turning in their heads as they learn new things about the world around them.

PRESCHOOL TOWN is the stage that I am getting ready to exit. I have had the best time taking my kids to playdates with other mommies that have kids my kids' age. Watching them interact with their teachers and classmates at school. Learning all of their shapes, colors, alphabets, etc. Things being taught to them (for the most part) by someone other than me. Things - communication, friendship, kindness, even meanness - that are being taught to them by someone even other than their teachers - by their peers. I have loved seeing their art projects evolve over the past few years.

BIG KID WORLD - It's been interesting for me to go through these stages of motherhood, and I'm no where near being done traveling. I still have the dreaded teenage years to look forward to! But it's been interesting because my kids are so close together. For the most part, once a stage is done with one it is pretty much done with the other too. Lacie is in kindergarten, she's READING, but because we put her in the private kindergarten class that their preschool offers, I tend to lump her into the preschool town that Colby is still in. But now, we are sending them both to public school this fall. Colby will be in Kindergarten and Lacie will be in first grade. They are becoming BIG KIDS. It almost feels like jr. high. all over again. They've been in the same school with these teachers, these classmates, for the past 2 and a half years. And now they are all being split up to go their separate ways and grow up with new friends and new teachers.

I am trying really hard not to make such a big deal out of it, for their sake, but it really is a BIG DEAL. I just don't want them to be freaked out about it. I want them to be excited. I think maybe because I know what is ahead of them, the wonderful AND the hard times that they will be experiencing. Despite this anxiety, I am really looking forward to this next stage of Motherhood. Being room mom, taking them on trips and places that we couldn't take them when they were younger, reading with them. Just continuing to enjoy their milestones. Though maybe not as marked as crawling or walking, still just as impressive to us as their parents, and biggest cheerleaders.

So to all of you just starting out, or maybe in the middle somewhere, just stop for a moment and watch your child. Just stare at them for a good long while. You will probably not believe me when I tell you how fast it changes. But please believe me when I say that it doesn't get any less wonderful! Enjoy the adventure, wherever it takes you!

There are just some things...

that I will never understand....

For instance, why do some people have kids just to try and find any possible way to rid themselves of them?

I have come across several parents in my lifetime they seem to constantly seek out every possible way to get rid of their kids - for a few hours, days, whatever.

Now, first of all I am not bashing all parents that work and leave their kids in daycare. That's not what this is about. But there are some parents that completely abuse daycare/preschool and somewhat fit into this category of people that I am speaking of.

I'm certainly not going to stand up on my soapbox and say that I LOVE my kids so much that I must have them with me 24/7. I am definitely not going to turn away from a lil mommy time or a date night or weekend away whenever we get the chance. That'd be crazy! I do have plenty of days where I really wish I could just get that much needed break! I don't think anyone that looks forward to alone time, and takes those opportunities as they are given is a bad parent

I'm talking about those people out there that constantly complain about their kids when they are around and then find ANYONE - even complete strangers - that will take their kids off their hands as needed. This place is talked about quite a bit amongst some mommies that I know and I see that they are licensed. But I don't get it. I could not just drop my kids off for hours on end with someone that knew nothing about them and vice versa. That just doesn't seem right. I thought that maybe now that my two are older and can share things with me about time spent there I'd feel a lil different. I still can't see myself taking my kids there. It would have to be a seriously emergent incident and even then....

I just don't understand this! Why even have kids in the first place if you are going to constantly try and have them gone?

Mommy Guilt

Mommy Guilt has got to be THE most powerful weapon in the world. It attacks me almost everyday. Did I spend enough time with them? How could I leave them with a babysitter? Are they eating the right foods? Did I pay equal attention to both of them today? Did I praise them enough? Did I ignore them? Did I scold them to harshly? Did I not discipline them enough? I don't do this all the time - I've gotten ALOT of great advice and support from my kids' teachers and close friends. I've also seen alot of examples of moms that I do NOT want to be like.

Today I kept the kids home from school because we are slowly becoming a one vehicle family again. I also babysat my lil nephew today. So I had my two home, plus my nephew, plus my two daycare kids. That's a 5 1/2 year old, a 4 1/2 year old, a 21 month old, and 18 month old, and a 1 year old. All cooped up in the house all day. That was 5 poopy diapers I changed and probably at least 5 more peepee diapers I changed. We had snack time outside which ended up in 3 of them soaking wet and muddy because they got a hold of the water spigot in the amount of time I was in the kitchen getting drinks. My kids didn't nap at all, the youngest slept off and on for a total of an hour and a half, my nephew slept from 11-2 and the 21 mo slept from 2-430. Now on a normal day I have ALL my kids of care sleepign from 2-430. I desperately depend on that quiet time! I really think it's the only thing that keeps me sane! Despite all this craziness the day didn't go TOO terribly bad. Add on to all of this that I have the added stress of my BIL's wedding tomorrow (Horribly Dramatic Long Story) and the possibility of some of my husband's family needed to crash at our disaster of a house (that they haven't seen yet!). So in the midst of all the children I am trying to clean up a bit and working on laundry that has been piling up for a week and a half now.
Ok so fast forward to this evening, all the kids - besides my own - had left, my kids were happily watching a movie, and I was in my bedroom cleaning. My kids eventually come in and start playing around me. I make a trip with some clean laundry to the livingroom to add it to the pile of some stuff to be folded and go to put some of the already folded laundry away. Only I can't find my folded laundry ANYWHERE! Then I notice it, an empty basket that was previously full of socks and underwear, folded towels on the floor under pillows and blankets. Yup my son - with his sister watching and not telling me - had, at some point, swept ALLLLLL of the folded laundry onto the floor!!!!!!!!!!!!! I swear I saw red and had smoke coming out of my ears!
I sent them both to their rooms and sat to veg for a bit But I really felt like I absolutely did NOT want to see either of their faces! They eventually came out and fell asleep on the couch next to me while i watched my show.
And now I feel guilty. I hate that they fell asleep when I was mad at them. I'm still upset with them but I didn't want that to be the last thing they felt before they fell asleep. But they REALLY did something WRONG! And I hate that I was mostly irritated because of my loooong day and that is SO not their faults! But they SHOULD have known better right? It's the attack of the mommy guilt again. My house NEEDS to be cleaned and laundry NEEDS to be done. But maybe my children NEEDED my attention? I dunno, I'm probably overanalyzing. I just feel really guilty about how I acted towards them. I didn't beat them, I didn't scream at them, I told them that they had hurt my feelings and that I was really really really upset with them. Are they too lil to feel guilty? They did say they were sorry but do they even know what that means? If not, then why did I even talk to them that way. Should I have just ignored it and moved on? AGH!!!!!!!

I know I am a good mommy. It's been told of me by several people. Not to toot my own horn or anything but that is important to me. Being a mom is what I have ALWAYS wanted to be. For a long time people would ask me what I want to do when my kids start school. A mom. That's it. My job as their mother doesn't stop just because they're not with me for most of the day. Or because they don't need me to wipe their hiney's or fix them their meals. I will always be their mom. And I want to be the best mom to them I can be. I don't want them to remember me as the ignoring mom, or the impatient mom, or the mom that spent more time with the daycare kids, or the screaming mom. I want them to remember me as the loving, understanding, realistic, and fair mom.
I don't know if they'll even remember what happened this evening when they wake up in the morning (they've been asleep since before 7 - thanks to the no naps). I pray that they don't.
Sorry for the rambling but this is heavy on my heart tonight as I look over at my 2 sweet babies sleeping peacefully. Now I am off to fold laundry - AGAIN!!!

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I just read a great article that was passed onto me by a friend. It is called 12 Ways to Make Your Kids Financially Savvy. IT WAS GREAT!!!! Especially to a financially dysfunctional kinda gal! I think every parent should read this thoroughly and consider adding some of his suggestions to your household. Even though we already agreed to considerably cut out our eating out this month, I can't wait till we can try out the soda bargain with our kids! You'll have to read the article to know what I'm talking about! I am also going to REALLY start working hard with the kids about delayed gratiication. I am sorry to say that we just missed a wonderful opportunity with Lacie this past weekend when she had the experience of cashing her very first check (a blog on that event - with pictures - will come later). I am kicking myself for taking better advantage of that opportunity. Which just goes to show that the hubs and I have a lot to learn when it comes to finances too! Be sure to lemme know what you thought of the article!