Thursday, July 24, 2008

You've Got Me Feeling Emotions

I have been REALLY emotional lately. Well pretty much forever. But lately I've been noticing it more and more. And it's getting old. Quick.
I'm getting ready to go through a couple really big changes in my world so maybe that is too blame. But if I'm not any better by September, I am really considering phoning a doctor for some help. I feel like a lunatic. And I don't just want to get a quick fix in a pill but I am really feeling desperate. Really.
I think one of my problems too is that I need to get back to church. I just can't seem to make that plunge back in. After being hurt and discarded so many times by people that were supposed to be your leaders and friends. It's not so easy to put ourselves back out there. But I really think I need it, my husband and kids need it too. Ouch.
David has been really supportive through all of my crazy times. I am soooo appreciative of that. I feel so betrayed and tortured by my family & friends at times and he is always there to pick me up and point me in the right direction. I do not know what I would do without him. And that thought scares me because alot of times my frustrations and craziness is taken out on him. I worry constantly that one day he's just gonna get tired of that. Scary.
So I'm trying to breathe in and out on a regular basis. I have been eating junk and that's not helping. I need to get through the next 5 weeks and then I will see what my life entails and can come up with a plan to get through it, either with medical help or without. We'll see!


Colleen Sherman said...

Sorry to hear that you've been having a tough time. I really applaud you for recognizing it and even considering help. There are people in my life who just need a little bit of help to get through tough times, but they are too proud to admit the need to talk to somebody or even be on medication. And the denial just makes it worse for that person and the people that surround them.

You'll be in my thoughts and prayers. And a big hug through cyber space!!

StepheLynne said...

I'm moving back to Bakersfield on August 1st...let's have lunch! Well not on the 1st, of course...hahaha...but soon after!

Megan said...

girlfriend, I get ya! I have totally been where you are, and I am glad that you are able to recognize that you might need some help.......I am really sorry that you are going thru all of this and I hope that if you ever need to chat you know you can call me! we are so lucky to have the wonderful partners that we do, and don't worry I know david is much like Rob and they aren't going anywhere no matter how hard we push!
Hang in there, let me help if you need it...and don't know if you have a church, but I have been happy at LBC....if your interested you guys could tag along one sunday! the boys would have class together for sundayschool too!
big hugs coming your way! I'm very glad to have you as a friend in my life...anything you need, just call!

Cosmo Mom said...

I'm sorry my friend! You know if you ever need something or want to talk, i'm here for you LOVE YOU!

Anonymous said...

From someone who SHOULD be on me sometime cause I know sooometimes talking does help a little :)