Thursday, June 25, 2009

Failing at my job

I have been a stay at home housewife/mom for about 90% if my marriage. I've never been good at it.
I'm not good at keeping up with the laundry. More often than not we are digging through a laundry basket (vs. neatly organized dresser drawers) to find something to wear. I'm not good at cooking regular meals. We eat out WAY too much. I'm not good at keeping the kitchen clean. I hate unloading the dishwasher. I'm not a big fan of loading it either. Bathrooms YUCK. I clean the bathrooms because I hate to sit on a dirty toilet or because people are coming over. Scrubbing the baseboards or the grout? No thank you! I love that we have our beautiful home, but I don't feel like I take pride in it as much I should. I can't believe I'm admitting all of this. But it's true. Of course I don't like to live in filth or mess but I absolutely despise housework!
I'm not a good cook. So I don't enjoy it. My family (myself included) is SO picky that it makes it even more of a miserable experience.
Ok enough with the excuses. Bottom line, I'm failing at my job. Whether I enjoy certain aspects of it or not.
I wanted nothing more in life than to be a wife and mother. Not everyone feels this way. I get that. But that's me. I also know that not everyone is lucky enough to have their dreams come true. I was. And I'm not being a good steward of that blessing. I mean, not EVERYONE loves their job right? I just can't imagine being anywhere else.I can't imagine my kids being at their school or a babysitter all day while I do something else. So if cleaning & cooking are the negatives to that wonderful life than I'll deal. And I have. But I have been slacking sooooo badly lately!
So from here on out I am going to renewing my commitment to my family.
I am going to be a good example of a house keeper for my children so that when they are grown they will know how to keep a house. My mom was such a good example of this for me. I just rebelled when I got out of her house LOL I could really use those chore lists, and someone checking up on me now!
I am going to cook dinner as many nights out of the week as possible. Even if my husband isn't home to eat it - he'll have a good lunch the next day! And even if my kids end up poopooing their meal and eating a pb sandwich instead!
I am going to be better at my job. Because I do NOT want to get fired!!!

If any of you have any tips or suggestions on how to make this job any easier/enjoyable? I'm all ears!


Megan said...

boy do I feel like you reached inside my head and pulled out the thoughts I think all the time!
I'm not the one to be giving advice, after all I'm no better most days. I have found that turning on the radio seems to put me in the mood to get up and move?
and sometimes all I have to do is FORCE myself to do that first "chore" and then I just keep going!
best of luck, and no worries we arn't getting fired~could you imagine our families trying to find a replacement??

CarlaMom2AnSnM said... - while I rebel against her system sometimes, thinking my house needs more than she suggests, when I rebel, I actually end up doing less, which obviously doesn't help anything LOL. Follow her religiously and your family will notice :)

alyssa said...

Even though I do not stay at home, and I am not a mom, I have been feeling exactly this way. We are good about cooking dinner, but not cleaning it up. Working in the yard, but not finishing. Starting laundry but not finishing. Piles of junk. Unfinished projects. Ugh. usually the only time I REALLY clean is when I know we're having people over. If you find something that works, let me know!

Anna said...

katie katie katie - some of the most AMAZING moms in the world were not good cooks - or housekeepers for that matter - In fact they had a team of nannies and housekeepers to do that stuff. SO I say SCREW that crap - and focus on the very IMPORTANT stuff like showering those precious babies with LOVE LOVE LOVE. from what I can tell You are a fantastic mom. remember that poem about how the man/woman will not be remembered for how rich they were - how clean their house was - what they wore - what they cooked..... ALL that matters in the end was that were loved by a child. Obviously it is ok to want to be better at what we do (our job as a SAHM) but don't beat yourself up. One day at a time ...... breathe. You are awesome.